tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3645108511916189657.post5368216059329727904..comments2023-10-10T16:14:08.271+06:00Comments on JerusalemStoned: To Have Loved and LostJerusalemStonedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07010124308463378122noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3645108511916189657.post-88687042344181017102011-11-16T09:38:40.701+06:002011-11-16T09:38:40.701+06:00Oh hon, I hope your husband finds peace in his hea...Oh hon, I hope your husband finds peace in his heart. It must be so hard for both of you. I'm sorry that he lost someone so special to him. I was definitely not talking about people who actually lost a father figure--I understand that comletely. When my father died, he left a lot people who were not related to us bereft of a father. <br /><br />I was talking about people who throw the phrase around--and then would talk about something else, something silly or meaningingful but enrelated, proving that they have no idea what it means and they are just mouthing words. <br /><br />May Hashem comfort you with all the mourners of Zion.JerusalemStonedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07010124308463378122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3645108511916189657.post-77347128944935449592011-11-16T04:07:00.835+06:002011-11-16T04:07:00.835+06:00I'm so sorry. I totally hear you and no one c...I'm so sorry. I totally hear you and no one can imagine what you're going through. If they had posted it on your wall or said it to your face, that would have been totally disgusting. <br />Feel free not to read on, because I don't want to be hurtful, but if you want to hear the other side, here goes: <br />I used the expression "we lost a father" a few times when R' Nosson Tzvi was niftar. To me, I guess he was more like a father-in-law, but to my husband, he was really a father figure. My husband was told to tear kriah, he didn't shave, and still has not stopped crying. <br />He used to speak to Rav Nosson Tzvi all the time before making any major decisions and Rav Nosson Tzvi was definitely a father to him. While he B"H has a good relationship with his father, he is not the good advice-giving type and Rav Nosson Tzvi really took that place. So while I didn't say I lost MY father ch"v, I did say I lost A father. He was a father figure to us and his passing has left an emptiness in our hearts and in our lives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3645108511916189657.post-91454970353769904702011-11-10T22:45:32.336+06:002011-11-10T22:45:32.336+06:00Thank you. You are 100% right. My huband also keep...Thank you. You are 100% right. My huband also keeps telling me not to question, just to feel.JerusalemStonedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07010124308463378122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3645108511916189657.post-25323386949896686242011-11-10T20:52:40.346+06:002011-11-10T20:52:40.346+06:00My father was relatively young when his father die...My father was relatively young when his father died. Not as young as you, but in his mid 30's. I wasn't born yet, but when his mother passed away now he is amazed how he was able to handle it so much better. You have gone through a a great trial, and you are permitted time to feel raw. And people, apparently, can be tactless idiots. <br /><br />I recently read a great article by a local minahel. He was saying about how his friend's father died, and he thought his friend was mourning for too long a time. He wanted his friend to be able to get back to normal. But when his father died, he realized that things don't go back to old normal, because now there is new normal. And no one can understand that, he says, until they have lost a parent.Princess Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17217157534383672867noreply@blogger.com