Finding myself in the Middle East

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Road to Hell

So I'm gonna be a total nerd and reveal my Smallville obsession by starting off this post with a quote from it:

(and I will not tell which episode and season it is)

(because I don't even know)

(oh, yes I do)

(but this is not shakespeare, and I so I am not exactly PROUD that I remember exactly where the quote originates from)

(heck, let me start the entire post over.)


I heard this great quote from somewhere, about evil. it goes something like (okay, exactly like) "Darkness is not a place. It's a journey."

It's so interesting. I could waste days, waste weeks, take the easy way out for years, and then wake up one morning, full of G-dly spit and fire, and plan how I'm REALLY GONNA LIVE. Daven every morning. Cook healthy nourishing food for my family. Blueberry muffins filling the freezer! Whole-wheat bread! Always cut up veggies and home-made dip on the table! And we will dance and sing and laugh and play and I will be loving and giving and patient and forgiving! I will excersise and be thin and beautiful and happy and spiritual and then I go back to sleep, quite worn out from all of my incredible plans.

And then I have a monday just like sunday.

But that's okay! Because I WANT to be good. So I am good. ....Right?

And that is where the quote that might-be-Milton-or-something-but-is-definitely-not-from-a-TV-show comes in. It really hit me. Not that I think I am the epitome of darkness. But that could just be simply because I was born basically good. I don't like hurting people or things. I like making people happy.

But what if I didn't? What if I naturally enjoyed causing other people pain? I would be going along with my natural instincts just as much as I am doing now.

My choices are based on what makes me able to sleep at night. What if in order to sleep at night I needed to get even with all of my enemies and I could not rest until they all DROWNED in a POOL of their own BLOOD and FEAR?

I just scared myself there for a second.

Anyway. Get what I mean? Why am I good? Because that's what makes me feel good? Because my journey gives me good choices, even though I seldom follow through?

How am I different from Lex Luthor---um, the fallen angel?

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