Finding myself in the Middle East

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Mother, may I?

There is a huge decision that we have to make. A really big one. One that makes me want to be 16 years old again, and I HATED 16. Being a grownup is so overrated. Just when you can finally do whatever you want, you find out there is a catch; it's not RESPONSIBLE to do whatever you want.

So I did what any responsible grownup would do.

I called my mother.

"So what should I do?" I said, after I explained it all.

She paused, thinking, and then said, "Jump in the water and a net will appear."

I totally got shivers. Wow. "Wow," I said. "What is that? Zen? Kabbalah?"

"Monk," she said.

"What monk?"

"No, Monk. Adrian Monk."

Great. I am now being inspired by a TV show.

"That's all you got for me?" I said, a trifle ungratefully.

"No, because it was really funny, and then later in the episode he was actually in the water,like drowning, and he's like, 'a net will appear, my--'"

"Yeah. Thanks. I got it."

"Really. It's a leap, you're right, but what else can you do? The second option is not much better."

"Rock and a hard place, Ima. And no, Monk did not say that."

We laughed and hung up and now I have a massive headache.

What is the fine line between foolhardiness and faith? Does your intentions have anything do to with it? When do you leap, and when do you stay on the ground that may not be the best place for you but at least it is solid?

How do you know that when you leap there will be a net waiting to catch you?

Because I know people who have leaped, and drowned.


Fashion-isha said...

Cute post! Think about what the worst thing will be if you take the leap and what the worst thing will be if you don't. Is your fear a real one of danger or just, well, a fear. That should help...good luck!

sporadicintelligence said...

Sometimes being a realist sucks, knowing the odds, the statistics, and well, not all leaps of faith pan out no matter how real their intentions were.

Good luck, hope you're happy with whatever decision you make....and cute post leading up to the anticlimactic ending :)

Anonymous said...

I think it goes like this:
If you don't leap, you're usually safe. Either there were no consequences and you did the correct thing, or you're not aware of the consequences because they can't be too bad if it's the same as things always were. Basically you probably will never know how things would have turned out had you made the leap. You won't know if it would have been better to or better not to. Some times though it's clear that you should have made the leap but it's after the fact.
Some people like this approach. Just staying with what's safe even if it's not great. New is scary and if it doesn't work out, you can't always go back (sounds like that in your case) and there's the regrets you gotta live with.
I know that didn't help much, just thinking aloud.
good luck

JerusalemStoned said...


G-d, I need a signpost saying, "this way, D!"


Chanalesings said...

You don't seem the type to drown.

JerusalemStoned said...

Chanale, I feel like hanging your comment up on my fridge...thank you.


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