Finding myself in the Middle East

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Beautiful

America! Hugs and love and family! And free food! And cars and customer service! And grass and pools and happy happy happy days and nights!


'Cept. We are subletting our apartment, and I am looking at it with a stranger's eyes for the first time. And my eyes hurt. I didn't realize the bathroom window is coated in black mold. I thought that it was painted black. So, out came the bleach and the rags! And off came the mold--and the paint, and the wood. And almost, the window. So I have splinters in my fingers and bleach under my nails and a wild look in my eyes. We are leaving in three days, and one of those days is Shabbas. I am not packed, the house smells like bleach but still looks like a large rodent trimmed its teeth on every available surface, and also seems to be growing shoes and small parts of games that I have not seen in years.

I would get a cleaner to help me, but they cost tons of money, and I'm still waiting on the rich great-great something-or-another who died and I never knew but looked upon me and loved me from afar and left me all of his money before I do that. Or maybe I'll try to find out if I have any of that great Native American blood, or the blood of some other people who get money just for bein' alive.

Although I guess if I had any of the above options, I wouldn't be living in an apartment that the Turantula and Cocaroach Weekly calls, "A stunning find! Move-right-in condition! Bring all your relatives!"

Erm. Maybe it's bad timing to PMS right now.

I'm still excited, though! Land of the free and home of central air!

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