Finding myself in the Middle East

Friday, May 21, 2010

Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Tea, Toast.

So, you know how they say that you never appreciate something until you don't have it anymore? 'K. Guilty.

I have reached that stage in pregnancy in which I vascilate between Do I Really Have another Month and a Half Before this thing is Out Of Me? to ThePainTheBloodTheFear... maybe it should just stay put. Especially since I went for my last ultrasound, and the warm loving technicion (why are you here? in a voice like the dust from the bottom of an unused tea-cup. Because I'm havin' a baby! says I, bouncy-like, havin' a baby-like. Oh. Yeah. She says, with a voice from a thousand fathoms deep. Get on the table. It's dirty? Whatever. Yank down some more paper. Also? My soul is completely dead.) said, are you sure that the week is right? The head, which I am measuring now, is a few weeks larger than the date given.

Check the rest of the body says I, bounciness receding like sudden male-pattern baldness.

The rest of the body was normal to date given.

She glances at Outdoorsman. He is a big man. Ah, says she casually. The baby probably just has your husband's head.

Then, as if she hadn't just announced just how my labor was going to be (a NIGHTMARE), she clipped my papers together and gloomily informed me that I can get my own paper towel to clean up the jelly smeared on my belly.

How do I know from that one little casual comment that labor would not be a walk in the park? Or rather, a walk in the park during a hamsin? Because, you see, Princess had the same diagnosis. Only hers accured an hour and a half into pushing. When my labor coach glanced at my beloved helpmeet and said, "you have a rather large head."

"yeah," he said, puzzled.

"I think that might be the problem," she said softly, but not quite softly enough. That was around the time that I fell to pieces.

But! This time it will be different! Because it is number 3 and my body knows this game and all will be perfect.

Quiet, internet, with your horror number 3 stories, by the way. All will be perfect.

You in the Back! Stop it! With your back-labor-ten-hour-pushing-then-it-turned-out-to-be-triplets stories! All will Be Prefect!

Now. I feel much better. Where was I going with this, by the way? Oh, yes. This was all an intro to how we never appreciate until yadda yadda yadda.

So, I was pretty much uncomfortable, hot, not sleeping, glaring at my snoring husband's large head. Then something happened to make me realize that I had it really good.(aside from the fact that there are so many girls who WANT to get pregnant...I know that at 3:00 in the afternoon, but not so much at 3:00 in the morning...) I got a stomach flu. This is the second time its made its rounds in my family, but it was mild before. this time, it came with all of the trimmings. Fever, vomiting, my legs as weak as a newborn calf's.

I am now getting over the worst of it, and I must say, it is so nice to just have a regular 8-month pregnant belly to be uncomfortable with. Nothing like something real to complain about to put everything else into its proper perspective.

Edited To Add:

But this morning Coco-pop woke up with fever and a diaper too horrible to describe. Here we go again...


Staying Afloat said...

Actually, my number 3 was my easiest labor. Came right out, after a crazy #1 and 2. Your body really does learn.

But don't be surprised if your start dropping everything soon, because the way it learns is it relaxes all your muscles early. :)

JerusalemStoned said...

Broke my entire milchig set and two serving dishes. Got that covered. :)

nmf #7 said...

LOL on above comments.

Nothing to add, as I only have one, but I must say, your description had me rolling in laughter- not at what you're worried about- but the way you described it. You have such a way with words!

Hopefully it will be your easiest yet!

JerusalemStoned said...

Thank you, and amen!


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