2012

First I was all, New Years was on Rosh Hashana! This First of January means nothing to me!--and resolved to ignore it. This was easy enough--it was on a motzai shabbas, and I spent it doing dishes and sponja in a bleach-stained t-shirt.

But I guess I'm American enough that while I've been feeling fine without watching the ball drop or even drinking a cocktail or seven, my fingers are itching to write a New Year's resolution.

So here it is, in the privacy of my own blog! Which is so private! Except for you guys! (You'll pretend for me, O Internet, right?)

So, I resolve to love more and judge less. And when I find someone impossible to love and not judge, I will pretend in my mind that s/he is a little tiny puppy that no one wanted because he was the runt of the litter and he is sitting on the stoop of my house and it's pouring outside and also he hurt his paw, and all he wants is somewhere dry to curl up. Life was hard for this little puppy! Have some pity!

Look at those eyes!

I resolve to shut off my computer in the afternoons when the kids are home. This is a hard one. Because sometimes I set them up with a game and the baby is napping and then I can just quickly go to the story I've been working on and--!! But, kids have a built in radar that detects when you are doing something that does not revolve around them, and they will know. When their little detector beeps they comes running over to you, but when I'm working on a story I am a zombie and respond to their requests for help with words like "Howzza?" and "wazzzat?" It takes one child striking another to snap me out of it, and then we're all annoyed. No. This year, I will not just for one second...

There will be more dancing and singing around the kitchen with a wooden spoon for a mike while we wait for our cookies to cool on the counter.

Speaking of cookies, sugar is bad for me. I mean, it's bad for everyone, but I have a really low tolerance for it. When I was expecting Turtle, I got off of sugar altogether because I actually got high from it.

That was seriously on my ceiling.

And I felt great when I was off of sugar. My kids are picky picky eaters and I'm fallen into a bad cycle of "treats for food," but I need to get out of that. Sugar is no good for anyone. It is so hard in this country, where teachers liberally give out taffies and chocolate for everything from a mitzvah note to a scraped knee, and my neighbors' kids charge up to my apartment wanting to share from a bulging bag of goodies, and I'm left to feel like the Grinch when I politely refuse. So I can't cut it out completely, but I can try to stop the complete sugar takeover. If anyone has ideas on how to go about making my kids feel undeprived with that when their classmates bring chocolate spread sandwiches to school, I am all ears!

I will be real with myself. I will rejoice with my accomplishments and not automatically move on to the next thing that I need to do without enjoying what I did already. Like stopping halfway up Everest to see the view so far.

I will call my family in America more. The time difference is a pain, but I love them and want to tell them that.

I will smile when my husband walks into the door and hug my girls when they come home from school. I do that, but I want my heart to always be there.

I will work hard when it's time to work and play hard when it's time to play. I will live.

I will hold on to the NOW and know that each moment is the best moment that I can possibly make it.

Oh, and I will somehow get Turtle to sleep through the night. Child, it is time.

Any tips on that will be met with hugs and even tears. Thanks in advance.

It's going to be a great year!